And Then I Said …

I stood with my back against the cosmetics counter. I wasn’t holding her purse and I wasn’t holding my breath. She likes to pursue a peruse. She likes to see all they have to offer and then she asks me to offer my opinion. And that’s when I hold my tongue. I don’t need a woman to advise me on my clothes and it’s not my style to answer, “Do I look fat in these?” with anything less than the truth. So we’ve struck a bargain: I don’t complain if it’s not a bargain and if she asks a question I can’t answer without an argument – I act as if I’ve been struck dumb. Well, it works.

So, I was backed up to the counter. I worked emails while she waffled between two pair of trousers. I waited. He stepped up to my side and took residence in front of fragrances. He glanced over and said, “Whatcha got there?” I showed him my PDA. My tongue was silent as my thumbs thumped syllables and spaces. And then he began our conversation.

He was a pilot in the Korean War. He learned to “fly over the farm in a crop duster.” He has “two boys and three grandkids.” He’s been married to his wife for fifty-two years. He pointed to her. She picked between piles of sweaters. She’s a thin gray-headed woman with a slight limp. He wants John McCain to be the next president. He’s a Lutheran. He graduated from the University of Minnesota. He spent his career at 3M. He worked in development. He is against illegal immigration. No wait. He’s against all immigration.

We shifted while a customer sniffed a smell. I put my phone into its holder.

He lives in a suburban condominium. He thinks I should “stop in for coffee.” He nodded in “the wife’s” direction. He said, “she puts a pot on first thing in the morning and it’s hot all day.” He said they have a nice party room on the main floor. He said there’s a woman who lives on the floor below and that she is a “shrew” and she likes to make hard candy that she puts in dishes in the party room. The dishes “haven’t been cleaned” since he moved in. He wants to know what her problem is – “doesn’t she know people our age can’t eat hard candy?”

He doesn’t watch CNN because a “communist” owns it and he doesn’t like Fox News because “they have no credibility.” He won’t watch Katie Couric and Dan Rather “is a traitor.” And he’s not going to buy a new television because he’ll be “dead before they’re worth a damn.” I remained silent. I knew my role. He wanted to talk not listen. And he was on a roll.

Soon we two became three and I made my introductions. I shook his hand goodbye and he said, “It was nice talkin’ to ya.” I saw his stance slightly slump as we walked away. I thought about him as I climbed into my car. I was content to stand silently and he didn’t want the contents of his life to remain silent.

I pulled away from the lot as I wordlessly wondered what she was thinking.