Us / We / Them

I think the dating pool of 40 somethings is expanding. I think when we get to our age we become rather staid in our habits and insulated in our environments. So – we’re out there. But that’s the key. Out THERE. You’ve got to look in new places and try new ideas.

I date often and here’s what I’ve found. If we’re open and receptive and emotionally available – people are looking for us. But we’re like a house that’s on the market. You’ve got to slap on the paint and arrange the furnishings to look attractive. As my Grandmother Fitzpatrick used to say, “any old barn looks better with a new coat of paint.” I am not an attractive man. But I keep myself fit, and I know how to smile, and to talk, and to engage.

Ok. And yes, I do date younger women sometimes. So do many of my friends. We’ve discussed it. Yeah, sex? Sure sometimes, but not always. Why then? Fun. Many younger women still think things are fun. They still try. They still feel enthusiastic. I like to be with a human being who hasn’t quit, hasn’t become cynical, and still wants to put in the effort of courtesy and courtship. Yeah. I know everything has gone to hell. But instead of bitching about the heat and telling the man about the hot flashes – why not throw on a swimsuit and laugh that we’ve got a little more skin now that “glistens.” You get a man to smile and laugh and feel good about it – and he’ll warm to that stove when the winter chill of middle-aged melancholy seeps into his bones.