I realized that many people who stumble across the internet and find my blog will wonder why I spent so much time and so much energy toward a project that by nature embraces banality.
My answer is simple: I felt the obligation of enlightenment. I’m a quite private man who spends most of his time in contemplation and so little of his time in exhibition. I’ve gone days without a spoken word. I do not speak or write because I feel the need to be heard or read. I speak and write because I feel the obligation of enlightenment. Throughout my life I’ve preferred to hold my breath. But if I know you’re barefooted and I know we’re on the same path, shouldn’t I tell you where the earth has cooled and where the smooth stones settled? Why is humanity content to watch others stumble over stones and stub over stumps?
So I stepped up to my task. The task was steep. It was steeped with pitfalls. I spent more than a couplet of days considering the propriety of revealing so much of myself so openly. I chastised myself for my timidity and rejected my insecurity. I vowed to bring my thoughts into voice. I intended to be open with my opinions and to expose my emotions and to reveal my revelations. Some things should remain silent outside a confessional. The remainders I continued to write.
I set a few ground rules for myself when I began these confessions. Although I didn’t anticipate the breadth of this blog - I did envision writing about my journey. Yet I was adamant that this wouldn’t be a journal. I wasn’t going to write about the books I read, and I wasn’t going to write about the films I viewed or the concerts I attended or the friends I visited or the women I knew or the daily doings of my family. I was not interested in evolving this into a diary. As you read you’ll notice that I sometimes kept this rule. Yet I sometimes allowed my emotions to rule my intellect too. What the hell. I had good intentions.
I intended to write a blog that provided analysis that was satirical, whimsical, theological, and philosophical with touches of humanity and tastes of humor. I feel I’ve done that. I focused on the travels and the travails of my immortal soul. The exposition of my evolution is meant to enlighten for those in need, enliven for those who want, and expose for those who are interested. And it was a selfish endeavor too. I placed the pieces of my life in front of me and I studied them so that I could place them in their proper perspective. And that’s why I took the time. The timing was right. My time is literally at hand.
Yet during my introspection of this retrospective, I noticed that I had unintentionally created an arc with my words. At first I was didactic. Then I became thematic which evolved until I was romantic and now I’ve settled from my revolutions into a more realistic perspective.
I wrote about God because we’re all thirsty. Whether it be water or wine, we all search for the quench. I wrote about the wells of water I see, the wetness I taste, and the dank that sometimes drowns.
I wrote about relationships because we all experience encounters that are rarely unique yet are never so opaque that we can’t see a lesson or share a laugh.
I’m stunned by the volume of people who read this blog. I wasn’t aware that
something so intimate could so rapidly become so public. I’m equally stunned that so many people feel an emotional kinship with my writings.
I’ve fleshed out these addenda a bit. It used to be more of an aside but that’s beside the point. I use it to point out my purpose. And I place it at this forefront to serve that purpose.
While writing this prologue I reviewed my view. I wondered if I should reverse the order of the entire blog so that it read more like a text and less like a testament. I embraced that notion. So I reversed the entire ordinance of the blog with the exception of these addenda. I’ve dated the posts to move them to their places. Some of my posts seem dated. Yet life is cyclical. This year’s Miley Cyrus is last year’s Lindsay Lohan.
