Ok I’m thinking there are three types of men in this world:
► The Frank Sinatra “My Way”
► The Elvis Presley “My Way”
► The Paul Anka “My Way”
I started to explain the distinctions of the three and then I realized it’s obvious. And I know I can’t actually authoritatively assert that these three types of men include all male inhabitants on this planet because I know that the majority of males on the earth haven’t any clue who these three men are/were/could have been. Yet I believe some male behaviors and characteristics are inherent and not culturally acquired and these three variations are indicative of all male attitudes. And then I realized I can authoritatively assert that these are in fact the three types of men because I’m the author of this blog and I can assert arguments and asides that are asinine or acidic or anything else that I ascertain. You see, I intend to write this blog my way.
Now I’m certain there is a right way and a wrong way for me to say this. And I don’t intend to suggest this was some sort of a sociological observation of the attributes of masculinity. Well, I won’t for a number of reasons:
1. I hate sociology. I didn’t like it in college and my attitude hasn’t changed. Well, the class itself wasn’t so bad. I sat next to the one of the 10 best looking women I’ve ever actually seen and I can’t recall her name. It was Tracy or Stephanie. Hell I don’t remember. I know her name started with a letter. I don’t recall just eliciting a sound to greet her each class. And drool doesn’t prevent someone from forming letters. Babies teethe and still retain their ability to produce vowel sounds. Wow - I can’t believe I don’t remember her name. It’s as incredible to me as many of the sociological concepts I studied. Although I do recall the professor’s name and I thought he was a horse’s ass.
2. Societal observation carries the implication that I must remove myself from my place in the social group (which to remove myself from the group “males” requires a 
knife or something and frankly I enjoy this blog but that’s just asking too goddamned much) and it implies elevation for this observation which means helicopters and/or air travel, or some sort of a large scaled ant farm. And we know I’m disinterested in those. Besides, I always tend to fly by the seat of my pants. It’s cheaper than most airlines. And I’m willing to wager that American males are unwilling to slide under a microscope or crawl between two sheets of glass framed by wood. So all my observations were based on personal history, interpersonal communications, and pure all-American conjecture.
3. There exists somewhere a version of “My Way” by The Ray Conniff Singers and I refuse to include it even in the pursuit of exhaustive research. Those who are not scientists are well versed in half-assed research and feel quite content with their mediocrity. And although the Ray Conniff Singers were expert and acclaimed for their pursuit of the mediocre - I just don’t feel I must suffer that much for my scientific pursuits. And I know you’re reading this and thinking “But Mark - the Frank Sinatra version is a finger snapper and I’m fairly certain if anyone actually saw the Ray Conniff Singers perform … the group sang and swayed and snapped. And of course my reply must be to mumble “Ok” and shrug my shoulders and go on my way.
And I contend that anyone who would justify any performer who sang and wore polyester slacks and sweaters and finger snapped and shoulder swayed falls into the Paul Anka category and probably has his greatest hits 8-track in their attic. And I say God bless ‘um; this is America. But please stay out of my way.
