You know, it’s odd that men rarely speak of spirituality with our confidants. Well, there’s a reason for that. Men rarely have confidants. We have buddies.
We have pals. We have friends. But mostly we vacillate between co-workers or teammates or rivals. And through the paces of the day, men do not take the time nor do men take the risk to speak of personal responsibility to other men.
A confidant is someone who is equal in nature. One can confide in a confidant because of the equity in responsibility and consequence. This equity assures that neither holds power nor consequence over the other. Spouses share equity in humanity but are not equals because of the differences between men & women and the distinctions between male and female emotional response. So although a man and a woman can share spirituality … and in a marriage they must share parity … they cannot have equity in spirituality because the emotional and psychological responses differ.
Spirituality is the response and reaction to the action of God. I do not imply that either men or women have somehow achieved a greater understanding of God and His attributes. For instance, I will never render a judgment on the preeminence of Saint Augustine verses Saint Teresa of Avila. God is the Supreme Being. God sits on one throne as mankind bends on both knees. I said men and women were not equal. I assert that because all variants aren’t exactly the same. However I did not place them in a vertical hierarchy with the implication of inherent superiority. I place them in a horizontal spectrum. Men and women are not equal; they’re parallel.
As an aside, people often confuse the words responsibility and duty. Although they share a number of variables, the words responsibility and duty are not synonyms. True, both words are dependent on the actions of others. So both words are actually reactions. Responsibility: a response. Responsibility is the ability to make a response. Duty is quite similar but has moral tones that hue the definition. Duty implies obligation and consequence. Whereas responsibility is almost dependent on geography - I am here so I’m required to react to this action. I find most people who traverse our society are responsible. Yet few people are dutiful. And I think I know why. The bar is so much higher for duty. There are higher standards to be met to achieve dutiful. There is a higher personal cost to dutiful because it implies reluctant self-denial. Responsible holds equal obligation but less consequence.
I find it impossible to sever my masculinity from my spirituality. I respond as I do because of who I am and what I am. And how I respond to God and His challenges and His synchronous obligations depends on the chief variable that I am a man. 
I often speak of the joy of the camaraderie of humanity but I hold the fraternity of humanity dear.
This post began because I mused a thought throughout my day. I considered how important it is for a man to know who he is. Society now calls that self-awareness. I’ve maintained it’s a constant examination of conscience. Today I realized that it is of greater importance for a man to know who he is not. For a man to know who he is - he must see his obligations in his world as he kneels before his God. For a man to know who he is not - he must see his duties to the world and his shortcomings in his responsibilities as he kneels before his God in His judgment. And it is by seeing his failings in his responsibilities that illuminate his duties towards contrition. Self-awareness isn’t a man’s duty. Responding to God’s call to service is.
April 06, 2007
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