May 7, 2008
Dr. Pepper
Peanuts
Combine the two.
So, what’s odd about it? I’ve spent many summer afternoons at the old Met Stadium watching Tony Oliva play ball while I swigged a bottle of Dr. Pepper and chewed on the peanuts. Thanks Dad.
February 17, 2007
May 7, 2008
February 17, 2007
May 7, 2008
♂ It’s not that men enthusiastically enjoy exercise. The reason men like to spend time at a gym is because it’s one of the few places we don’t have to answer.
♂ It’s not that men don’t want to tell you. We just don’t always understand why you asked.
February 17, 2007
May 7, 2008
It’s a myth that men don’t like to shop. We like new things. We like gifts. We just don’t browse. We don’t peruse. And frankly the only time a man enjoys window shopping is when he’s in Home Depot and he is actually choosing a window. The reason men don’t graze through stores is because merchants don’t cater to men. They know we’ll buy it so they don’t try to entice us. The next time you’re standing outside the waiting room lingering while she decides whether or not she looks fat in her clothes … take a gander at the surroundings. The hues aren’t meant for men. The l
ayout wasn’t designed for a man. What men want is in the back of the store or in the basement.
Except at Fleet Farm. Fleet Farm is the only store I know that caters exclusively to men. (Well except women who keep swine and cattle.) They have oddities. They have novelties. They have farm equipment. They don’t have hues; everything is orange. They don’t have a layout; they have aisles. And they’re concrete. It’s the only store that you can find fishing gear and odd-brand name jeans and gun safes and livestock suppositories beside a 25lb bag of beef jerky. And you can choose a mailbox in the shape of a fish or a toilet seat with hand painted deer antlers. It’s endlessly fascinating. It’s utterly amusing. You can keep the New York Times Crossword Puzzle for your Sunday fun. Give me the Fleet Farm ad and a finger to point. I’ll be bemused.
February 24, 2007
May 7, 2008
1. Cleaning, chopping, steaming, & tupperwaring (let’s start this verb) vegetables is cooking. Yes; it is. (Purchasing fresh produce instead of canned vegetables shows emotional growth and a willingness to embrace healthier habits and should be applauded and not met by aspersion. And purchasing asparagus should be met by more than applause. It merits awe. It’s goddamned expensive.) 
2. Putting away the dishes from the dishwasher is “cleaning up the kitchen.” Yes; it is.
3. Picking up stray socks from under beds, placing shoes into the closet, and hanging the wet towel on the towel bar is “straightening up the apartment.” Yes; it is.
4. Ironing just the front & cuffs & collar of the shirt because you’re wearing a suit & tie isn’t lazy and can be considered both “well-groomed” and an accomplishment. Yes; it can.
March 01, 2007
May 6, 2008
The dairy section at my grocery store is along the back wall (and as I type that I realize that most stores put the dairy section along the back.) As I stood near the milk, I glanced to my right and I had a clear view along the back wall of the store. On the far right I saw a 20-something man standing near the potatoes with a list in his hand. Nearer me but still at a distance was another 20-something man standing in front of the butcher counter. He consulted with the butcher. He also had a list in his hand. Even closer was a 40-50ish man standing in front of the ground beef … with a list in his hand. And I looked down as I ticked “skim milk” off my list. We all had lists. And then the clarity. We were all competent men with lists. And who had written the lists? And who had provided the lists? Women.
Now dating guides and relationship consultants often suggest that a good meeting place for singles is a grocery store. This isn’t a wise recommendation and more than likely was endorsed by a male. A woman and a man are never going to meet in a grocery store. Women have prevented other women from meeting men at the grocers. Men don’t notice other women at the grocers. We’re staring at the list. And other women know that men are unavailable because they see us carrying around that list. A list doesn’t necessarily indicate that the man is in a relationship but it does suggest unavailability. A list is a symbolic emblem of ownership and is quite similar to marking one’s territory. And I’m asserting that women have known this all along! That’s one reason they make the list. Such sneaks! While men thought women made us wear rings to dissuade other women, they deviously made men oblivious to other women’s existence! This realization should probably tick me off. But that would be another list. And all this revelation has left me rather listless.
March 02, 2007
May 6, 2008
You know, it’s odd that men rarely speak of spirituality with our confidants. Well, there’s a reason for that. Men rarely have confidants. We have buddies.
We have pals. We have friends. But mostly we vacillate between co-workers or teammates or rivals. And through the paces of the day, men do not take the time nor do men take the risk to speak of personal responsibility to other men.
A confidant is someone who is equal in nature. One can confide in a confidant because of the equity in responsibility and consequence. This equity assures that neither holds power nor consequence over the other. Spouses share equity in humanity but are not equals because of the differences between men & women and the distinctions between male and female emotional response. So although a man and a woman can share spirituality … and in a marriage they must share parity … they cannot have equity in spirituality because the emotional and psychological responses differ.
Spirituality is the response and reaction to the action of God. I do not imply that either men or women have somehow achieved a greater understanding of God and His attributes. For instance, I will never render a judgment on the preeminence of Saint Augustine verses Saint Teresa of Avila. God is the Supreme Being. God sits on one throne as mankind bends on both knees. I said men and women were not equal. I assert that because all variants aren’t exactly the same. However I did not place them in a vertical hierarchy with the implication of inherent superiority. I place them in a horizontal spectrum. Men and women are not equal; they’re parallel.
As an aside, people often confuse the words responsibility and duty. Although they share a number of variables, the words responsibility and duty are not synonyms. True, both words are dependent on the actions of others. So both words are actually reactions. Responsibility: a response. Responsibility is the ability to make a response. Duty is quite similar but has moral tones that hue the definition. Duty implies obligation and consequence. Whereas responsibility is almost dependent on geography - I am here so I’m required to react to this action. I find most people who traverse our society are responsible. Yet few people are dutiful. And I think I know why. The bar is so much higher for duty. There are higher standards to be met to achieve dutiful. There is a higher personal cost to dutiful because it implies reluctant self-denial. Responsible holds equal obligation but less consequence.
I find it impossible to sever my masculinity from my spirituality. I respond as I do because of who I am and what I am. And how I respond to God and His challenges and His synchronous obligations depends on the chief variable that I am a man. 
I often speak of the joy of the camaraderie of humanity but I hold the fraternity of humanity dear.
This post began because I mused a thought throughout my day. I considered how important it is for a man to know who he is. Society now calls that self-awareness. I’ve maintained it’s a constant examination of conscience. Today I realized that it is of greater importance for a man to know who he is not. For a man to know who he is - he must see his obligations in his world as he kneels before his God. For a man to know who he is not - he must see his duties to the world and his shortcomings in his responsibilities as he kneels before his God in His judgment. And it is by seeing his failings in his responsibilities that illuminate his duties towards contrition. Self-awareness isn’t a man’s duty. Responding to God’s call to service is.
April 06, 2007
