I’m sitting here chewing a homemade chocolate chip cookie. Now, I love oatmeal. I do. I know there are those who prefer Malt-O-Meal. And I can’t say that I blame them. I spent many a wintry morning waiting with my brother Michael for the school bus at the end of a long, frozen-mudded farm driveway with woolen mittens on our hands, crocheted scarves on our throats and Malt-O-Meal warmed stomachs as we stamped our snowmobile boots to the rhythmic beat of “where’s that goddamned bus?” So it might as well be called Malt-O-Memories (which would be one hell of an ad campaign. You add “remember the goodness” to the packaging and you reinvent the product) And it must be chocolate. (Plain Malt-O-Meal? Isn’t that called farina or something like that? I never quite knew what farina was … I just remember seeing it in a Mad Magazine which is an entirely different topic that I’ll end here.) Anyway, Malt-O-Meal as a cookie? I think not.

February 14, 2007

